If I Could Tell You 2:30:00 AM

When I see you in the morning
it brightens up my day
there are so many thoughts on my mind
so many words I want to say

I want to tell you how I feel
but the words I can not find
they're all mixed up with my thoughts
that are running through my mind

I've been keeping it locked up
because I know there's not a chance
you never look my way
you don't even take a glance

You don't even know you're doing this
toying with my heart
I wish I could just tell you
but I don't know where to start

Should I tell you how much you mean to me
or how bad I want to be with you
if I were to say these things
how would you react, what would you do

Would you never talk to me again
would you never look my way
that would just bring me back
to where I am today

Then I'd start all over
and choose a different route
to make you understand
my feelings that want out

I don't know what to do
or even how to say
maybe I should lock it up
and keep myself away

My heart would ache even more
but maybe for the good
I just really want to tell you
only if I could.

Truth Number Fourteen-Feelings Never Go Away. They Just Get Buried And Resurface At The Most Unexpected Moments...

In Between 2:02:00 AM

Between love and friendship
I'm waving like a lost ship
Between black and white
Grey takes away my sight

Between doubt and certitude
How can I have such an attitude?
I no more bear the confusion
Tell me is it truth or illusion?

I was dreaming when there came
A strange feeling I can not name
Since long you've been my only mate
My soul only you can penetrate

Inside me only you can see
Like sugar in a cup of tea
Like the door knows the key
Like the flower waits the bee

Today it is clearly seen
In between I should never have been
To a strong feeling you were blind
Something your eyes no longer hide

To your love I can fake
Not knowing my heart you can break

:P 12:32:00 AM

 Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."

The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that,
Mom."

Blood rush 8:46:00 PM

It hurts when you leave.. Can we rewind the hands of time to back where we were always together?.. You've change my life.

I wish time would stop 8:22:00 PM

What a week, fridays that were not as planned. Jeremy was suppose to book out today but he had confinement... I'm kinda sad, hope he's doing well. hmmm.. Well there's always the next long weekend.
Right now I'm just chilling at home with lilly. It's been awhile since we spent time together.. maybe tonight we'll do something.. Well that's all that has been happening beside the fact of boring school.. hmmm..


Caught in the middle.

Lord Jesus and Guardian Angels, watch over those whose names you can read in my heart. Guard over them with every care and make their way easy and their labours fruitful. Dry their tears if they weep; sanctify their joys; raise their courage if they weaken; restore their hope if they lose heart, their health if they be ill, truth if they err, repentance if they fail.        Amen.

Clouds are beautiful. 12:29:00 AM

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over. I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing... I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you..

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. "

only fools rush in.. 2:07:00 PM

Scream my heart out, break it, hurt it. I don't want to have it.


Not anymore.

Your making me insane 3:47:00 AM

Leave me alone now, let me think.

Bromance 2:29:00 AM

There are moments in my life that dreams can be so real that you just want to pick them up and embrace them; only to wake up and realise it's just reality playing a game on you.  It's funny how life brings you where you are right now with the choices that you've made. “They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now”


A feeling that cannot be explain only to be felt by one, it is such a complicated expression of the love that I have in me. Sometimes I see you, it feels so real but I know its a figment of my imagination, it is what I want you to be.  Well it's not what's in your mind, it is what's in your heart that I see.

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother; for those were some of the best times of my life.

The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it? 12:20:00 AM

I can't stand it anymore, emotions are driving me out of my mind. I just don't know what to do, or how to stop it. Why dose my past keeps coming back to haunt me? I know what the logical answer is, but some part of me just can't accept that.  Maybe its time I do something about it? Will someone please take a knife and stab my heart, the pain that I'm feeling might just go away.






Maybe in another life time, or universe. 

Covenant Thursday 3:56:00 AM

This year Maundy Thursday was nice, we manager to go around 6 churches only... Had lots of hot cross buns. yea.. Tomorrow will be the same, saint Joseph's for the procession than comes Saturday Easter vigil! :) Can't wait for it. haha

Okay, now I'm just shag, so goodnight internet people..

Bonds of trusts 11:18:00 PM

My mind is in a whirl, only to be understood by someone, who appears to be insane to the universe. Because this is what people do, they judge. from the path chosen to the colour of clouds a reigning in your sky. This is a sad place where acceptance exists only in gorgeous dreams. No where near my heart is peace; expect for a brief few moments of escape which will be cherished for as long as the beauty of the ocean shall live.


And where that beauty resides, shall the memories everlasting be a constant reminder of the most divine yet uninhibited expression of euphoria. 

- Anonymous   

Its not the things you've said, it's those you didn't. 12:09:00 AM

This month has not been a good month for me, alot of things has happen and is happening, and is not stopping just yet. Everything is just going wrong. 

Sometimes the people closest to you hurt you the most. They say things that you could never imagine, do things that you'd never do. Well what can I do but try to forgive? I'm tired of trying to make things at peace all the time, be treated as a doormat, and just be used when needed. That just shows how much I mean to you; how much you really care. Well I don't think I need someone like that so please just go, I'd do better without you.

"True colours are shown not by the biggest of things, but the tiniest."

Poem? 5:01:00 AM

Read this little poem, I love it. No, I didn't write it


If i dont call you

[ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]

When i walk away from you mad

[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth

[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you

[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i call you and say i cant sleep

[stay on the phone till i go to sleep]

When i start cussing at you

[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]

When im quiet

[ Ask me whats wrong ]

When i ignore you

[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away

[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst

[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying

[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]

When you see me walking

[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]

When im scared

[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder

[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i grab at your hands

[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i tease you

[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time

[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt

[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i love you

[ I really do more than you could understand ]

When i bump into you

[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret

[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes

[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you

[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart

[ the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over

[ i still want you to be mine ]

this is painfully obvious. 6:41:00 PM

I wish I could tell all of you my secret, maybe in the next life. 

maybe you're not worth it.

Silence 5:58:00 PM

I thought that I knew you

But now I'm not sure

You used to be friendly

But not anymore

Each day we grow farther

Apart and I'm sad

We used to be best friends

The best I ever had.

At some point things changed

And our lives split apart

I miss you so much

In my life – In my heart.

Sometimes things must happen

And friends drift away

I wish it weren't us

I wish not this way...

Your beautiful soul. 5:19:00 AM

What a week.. I just met Jimmy Jim jim just now, we went to have dinner at Chomp Comp.. Freaking bus too like forever to get there. Had a good dinner with him.
The last few days Sharon asked me to bake a cake last minute; which is in a shape of 30!! God I almost killed myself if without the help of Lillykerniweeeeee!! Hahahha all in all it was good.
I cant wait for monday and Friday!! :)

Would you be my best friend and follow me
through this never ending drama called life?
I believe we only have to go through it once.
It won't be a smooth journey that's what I've been told,
there's back-stabbers, liars and crooks along the way.
I'd watch your back every minute, but would you watch mine?
There's going to be happy moments too; one of them is 
spending time with you. Well that's all I know about this journey, so would you follow me and and find out together?


Photo Caption:
"My husband is the best friend I've ever had, and I'm the best friend he's ever had. We know we can always rely on each other, like we can on no one else. My pool of friends has slowly whittled down over the years, as person after person flaked out on me or proved themselves to be unreliable or too self-involved to really be able to give me back as much as they expected in return.
But not him. He gives me everything he has, without question, and I give him back just as much...and so neither of us really loses anything despite giving everything.
Instead, we gain. And that's love. Giving your whole self away, but being richer for it."

-Artful Magpie 

Fearless 7:55:00 AM

It's a typical Tuesday night and she doesn't get your humor like I do.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like and she'll never know your story like I do.


Graduation later in the afternoon, anxiety is possessing me.. The sun is beautiful today.

Love, the sand by the shore. 8:08:00 AM

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

There's something about you and the beach that I don't think I'll ever understand... Shall we just sit here and watch the sun set??

The footprints that you left me are still warm in my heart every time I think of you. Clasping our hands beneath the sands, laying here under stars with all our dreams; now, that's a wonderful night...

Someday all this would happen.

Remembering Sunday 6:16:00 PM

I still see you every night..

Blood rushes to my head when I'm awake.

I know now dreams are truly just dreams. 

Fairy tales are not of this world.

Everything thing seems so perfect;

you we're sooo happy!

We were just two sentimental fools 

traveling around the world with our hands together.

See you in the next life..