How can anyone be afraid of love? 3:13:00 AM

How can they not?

When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover,

you lay your heart open to them.

you give them apart of yourself that you give to no one else,

and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you

literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest

and most painfully on your heart and soul.

And when they do strike, it’s crippling-like having your heart carved out.

It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them

want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them.

What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you?

That no one can love you?

To have it happen once is bad enough – but to have it repeated?

Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?

Dangerously shattering... 1:49:00 AM

This guy lives thousands of miles away from me and I can't get him off my mind.. It's crazy how you can fall for someone who you don't even know in real life. But yet it's almost like you do know him in real life. And it's frustrating cause you can't hold him in your arms, and look into his eyes and tell him you love him. I believe one day we'll find away to each other. And I bet if you were to tell your friends or someone that you fell in love with someone who lives miles away they'd laugh and say its impossible but they don't know what it's like..

-Don't give up. If you love him and he loves you, you guys will find away to be together no matter what.

-Unknown 

Is this a phase.. or is my heart being true? If it is, than why am I risking to break it once again?

Just me and you. 1:45:00 AM

I don't know how to go a day without you.
You are my rain and my shine, my air my breezes.
You keep my heart warm and my soul filled.
I know I'm not completely true to you, but I love you.


You are so special. 

Lets clasp our hands together in the sand while we watch the sunrise and be completely filled by the sounds of waves..  

winter blues. 11:15:00 PM

It's easier to tell my problems to a stranger than to my close friends..
Its hard when nobody wants to listen, no one wants to care..
I'm back to where it all started; alone and feelings all bottled up inside.

I am lonesome tonight, and I do miss you.. 7:56:00 AM

I've met someone new, I wished you could tell me it's true.
You're so far, I'm wishing upon a star. 
It's so very strange, but I don't think my heart wants a change.
I'm so fragile, is any of this worth the while?


No one would understand, if I told them.
It would be just our little secret. Just a duet.
Every night this is my getaway.

iloveyoumorethanyouwilleverknow 4:16:00 AM

A couple of pills and a couple of scars

because of you it doesn't mean nothing. 

Behind these smiles and behind these unpublished blogs

lie what I truly want to say, what I truly feel.

When you are in Love you can't fall asleep

because reality is better than your dreams.

I'm not going to let you know if you don't ask.

Time 3:12:00 AM

I'm afraid. 

A wormhole 9:18:00 AM

Hey I know its been awhile since I've updated yeah Been busy with loads of stuff recently.. Let's see what I have in my album, oh Jrmy had a new tattoo, national day just passed, Lilly lost her iPhone and I'm still the same ol.. :/*
oh well my holidays are coming in about 1 hour time!! I'm on the way to school now in 31 but I'm supposed to meet Jrmy at the National university Hospital; fucked I wish I could be at both places at the same time! Oh fished!





That's all the pics that I have for now. Upload more soon! :3

My favourite childhood memory... 1:19:00 PM

Was craving for it the other night ... Muhahaha the next time will be 50!

Stranger 1:09:00 PM

FRIDAY'S HERE!! well well I hope today goes out as planned. Really really looking forward for a
movie tonight with jrmy and whoever's coming along. :) I'm actually craving for a Magnum Gold right now haha.. I'm on the bus on the way to the polyclinic to to meet Lilly and have lunch with her.. Oh well short post :|

Room 2.06 3:25:00 PM

Theres something for everyone today. Okay, right now I'm at the polyclinic with in uniform I was suppose to go to school but I taught I'd get an MC while I'm seriously sick and needs some checking up.. Its been awhile since I got here id just gotta wait and wait...

Well I hope the day don't get anymore boring.. I'm gonna help sharon later at her work place with some computer issues.. Well I hope she pays me! :) haha anyways I can't wait for the weekend!! Its gonna be jam packed with a whole lot of stuff!! Hehehe

Okay dokay I got to go... Tell then!!

People, places & time. 9:04:00 PM

You're the best thing that ever happen to me...

Dream a little dream of me 8:35:00 PM

What a Sunday is was, well I don't think the day is going to end anytime soon... This is how it all started...

Slept over at jimmy's place last night, was just blogging till late.. Had a hearty breakfast in the morning at the Indian prata shop. Than went for St Anne's church feast day. Was a huge fun and food fair ate there too haha... Music was so loud that we could hear Justin Biber during mass too... Oh the bishop serve the mass today..
So anyways went home to take a nap than went down to SGH for a while... Send jeremy off to camp and now I'm in the train on the way to Lilly's place to help her with her project...

Okay I'm not going to bore anyone anymore.. Hahah yea so that was my day so far.. Was nice.

A month left to be 18... :/*

Inked 12:27:00 AM

 For me, why he got it, and who he makes himself out to be are two very different things. -You

Inked for all the right reasons.

Jesus, guide us. 10:25:00 PM

Wednesday Wednesday, what a day it have been.. Today was a nice day, it's one of those days that I don't think I'll forget and when I look back at it in the future I'll miss old times.. So anyways, I went to school and was not feeling well, so I decided to head back home and out of nowhere, cornell called and asked if she could meet up because she was lead of work early.. I swear just for that moment my fever was nowhere in sight.. hahaha After all those pondering on where we'd meet we decided to head down meet up at Temp and have lunch, After that cornell came over for awhile just to chill and all.. haha Yea I'm not feeling so good today man..


I swear I just can't wait to move on in life,  I guess the feeling of me wanting to grow up quickly have not gotten out of me.. I'd rather work than study, simple as that.
I can't wait for the weekend! Hopefully Jrmy can book out on friday than we can chill out have dinner and maybe a MAGNUM GOLD?! or choco cone?? hahaha


Till I met you weekend, Take care

No camera in this world could every capture the beauty of my life.. 2:04:00 AM

Okay, so right now I'm over at Jrmy's place, we just went to watch Predator at AMK hub. It was a nice show, enjoyed it and so was the BBQ Nachos, thanks jimmy by the way. Can't really sleep right now, I have alot on my mind.. Lilly's all the way in the north, working... I guess I'm going to pick her up when she finish later, can't wait. I swear, although I'm going through alot of shit right now, It's really the people that are close to me that keeps me going. I really love all you guys. You know who you are; if you've touched my life.

Alright I got to go now.. Till next time!

Lonely as I can be.. 1:55:00 AM

You don't care to hear me out.. I have no one that would understand.

The Vines - Get Free 6:27:00 PM

Things I wasn't able to tell you.. 5:49:00 PM

I can't stop myself from liking you,

or thinking about you.

You are the first thing I think of when I wake up

& the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.

I think that's a cliche form somewhere, but it's completely true.

Choco cone 10:51:00 AM

Okay seriously, I have no idea how much long I can deal with this. I'm in "School" right now which I have no idea why am I here agan, IT SUCKS! I always wonder why I rush to school early in the moring, get packed like sardines in bus 27 and come to school just to use Facebook? Is Facebook like the new TV? Seriosuly. It's boring as hell here...

I hope the day gets better though. Last night I brought lilly out to have a Birthday Dinner, we had shushi. It was awesome because it was a buffet.. haha :) I can't believe that we ate so darn much!
hmmm... Anyways the afternoon is not getting any better nowdays, Jeremy is required to "stay-in" camp and he's like on the other side of the freaking country... wth...

Okay so that's all for today I guess; Singapore is getting boring as you get older...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!!! :)

Monday blues, Tues, Weds & Thurs too... 9:46:00 AM

A start of a new week, Monday.. What a week before that I had, Jeremy had his 10 days holiday starting right after his POP, we went out to celebrate.. than movies druing the weekdays, town and all the other usual shits that I can't remeber right now..Oh well..  Went to celebrate lil's birthday two days ago, lilly really got high man. haha hope she enjoyed :)

Just bored right now, in school haha as usual.. Well I hope the week get better and not so blue.. Weekend!!

A plain morning.. 10:07:00 AM

This is a very strange week.

Just another day in July 10:45:00 AM

July July, why dose the time fly?? haha Well I'm in school just not doing anything at all.. bored to death, as usual... I think I need to get out more of my life.. you know what I mean? I'm going insaine just by doing all this stuff everyday, and it's not helping that the people around me is werid and strange.. Anyways I'm looking forward to what's gonna happen in the near future.. Can't wait to see what's installed.

I wish I could write as fast as I type, than I can just go on writing all day long.. brb

1.56e+11ly, that's just how much I love you.

In my eyes.. 12:34:00 PM

YOU ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!

You are so fucking beautiful,

you are all I ever dream of,

you are all I ever think of.

you're all I ever want,

you're all I ever need.

There is not an hour in my life that goes by not thinking about you, how's your day, what are you doing, how are you feeling?

Somehow you bring so much joy in my life although you don't even know. That's how strong my love is. If we ever spend the rest of our life together, I promise that I'll make you happy for the rest of my life. I won't let you feel lonely, I won't let you feel unloved. All I ever want for you is all joys that fills your heart.

Love Overcomes Virtually Everything 

Strange world 1:21:00 AM

When I was seven years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wrong..

Life. 8:48:00 AM

When exactly did we go from being kids to just being people, I'm not sure. I do know that it's not about turning a certain age or graduating from school. It happens when you're not paying attention. We go from playing with our friends to playing with our friend's feelings. Without our knowledge or consent childhood slips away in the night and our innocence escapes us and we wake up one morning to find we have become who we are.

We can't help who we fall in love with. 3:13:00 AM

I swear it sucks when you have no one to talk to about shits that you've bottled inside. All kinds of feelings are mixed; hate, anger, love, jealousy, sadness... I wish my heart would be different. I wish it wouldn't be so selfish. It only causes pain. FUCK this emotional shit. Seriously, it's hard.

I'm trying my best. I'm just different.
It usually happens when you're...
I can't continue...

You're in my life. 12:46:00 AM

Okay holidays are here, haven't been blogging much... Alot has been happening, hope things would get better. Pls. I need that bit of luck now. I can't wait for the weekend, I bet it's going to be great. haha well I'll blog whenever I can. till then!


Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought of sold,
but it's value is far greater than mountains made of gold.
For gold is cold and lifeless, it can neither see nor hear,
and in time of trouble it has no power to cheer.
It has no ears to listen nor heart to understand,
it cannot comfort or reach out a helping hand.
So when you ask god for a gift
be thankful if he sends you not diamonds, pearls or riches
but the love of real true friends.

Happy days 12:34:00 AM

TOY STORY 3

It was one of the few highlights of my life. THANK YOU Jeremy and lil, you have no idea how much it meant to me. Yes I know all this over toys? yea. It's going to be part of me someday. :)

Friendship. 

Missing you 3:21:00 PM

Every time I think of you
I always catch my breath
And I’m still standing here
And you’re miles away
And I'm wondering why you left
And there’s a storm that’s raging
Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name, in certain circles
And it always makes me smile
I spend my time,thinking about you
And it’s almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that’s breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

There’s a message, in the wires
And I’m sending you this signal tonight
You don’t know, how desperate I’ve become
And it looks like I’m losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning
Though Im trying hard to understand
And it's my heart that’s breaking
Down this long distance line tonight


And there’s a message that I’m sending out
Like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can’t bridge this distance
Stop this heartbreak overload


I ain’t missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you
No matter, what my friends say
I ain’t missing you, I aint missing you
I can lie to myself
And there's a storm that's raging
Through my frozen heart tonight
I aint missing you at all
Since you’ve been gone, away
I ain’t missing you,
No matter, what my friends say
Aint missing you
I ain’t missing you, I aint missing you
I can lie to myself
I ain’t missing you
I aint missing you..

School scmool... 11:16:00 AM

Okay it's friday the fouth of June, 9.45am. I'm in school just sitting around not doing anything at all... I have no idea why I'm here in the first place, boredem is killing me.. Oh well at least on the bright side is that it's a friday! After school I have plans to meet Lilly, heading down to town to check out the summer collection.. Then again I have no idea why I'm here... Jeremy has been in army now for about four weeks already, I might meet him later, not so sure if he can come home today.. :( I hope he could... Oh well oh well I hope the days get better form no on..

13 more days!! I've been waiting for 10 years for that day. :) haha

I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist.. 4:33:00 PM

Wasted Love 6:22:00 AM

I'm having a feeling of enormious pain that is more then anything imaginable. It cannot be cured by medicine, or treated by anything but time. For those that know this feeling too well, it is not a physical pain that can be described, but soemething deep inside. Breathing gets hard, eating becomes tasteless, and love, well, what is love anymore. You forget. Yet you remember, remember how to love, and who you love - which makes it hurt so bad. Let it go people say, but how can you. Feelings are feelings, and you love who you love. Heartbrakes occur most when you love someone you are not suppose to.

Rollerblade-TRS 7:18:00 PM

#01- New Jack Skates!! :)

• Structure: external cuff
• Frame: Street (UFS). Super-Lock groove
• Bearings: SG5

* smiling ear to ear *

Look at that beauty... & that beast! 

I could go on... haha

Hidden Feelings 2:34:00 AM

I hurt inside
and cry,
because I can't tell you
about my feelings for you.

You are my friend
and I'm yours too.
That's why I don't want to tell you
how my heart enjoys being with you.

I don't want to ruin our friendship
by wanting to start a relationship
but I need to tell you,
cuz i can't learn how to stop loving you.

If I Could Tell You 2:30:00 AM

When I see you in the morning
it brightens up my day
there are so many thoughts on my mind
so many words I want to say

I want to tell you how I feel
but the words I can not find
they're all mixed up with my thoughts
that are running through my mind

I've been keeping it locked up
because I know there's not a chance
you never look my way
you don't even take a glance

You don't even know you're doing this
toying with my heart
I wish I could just tell you
but I don't know where to start

Should I tell you how much you mean to me
or how bad I want to be with you
if I were to say these things
how would you react, what would you do

Would you never talk to me again
would you never look my way
that would just bring me back
to where I am today

Then I'd start all over
and choose a different route
to make you understand
my feelings that want out

I don't know what to do
or even how to say
maybe I should lock it up
and keep myself away

My heart would ache even more
but maybe for the good
I just really want to tell you
only if I could.

Truth Number Fourteen-Feelings Never Go Away. They Just Get Buried And Resurface At The Most Unexpected Moments...

In Between 2:02:00 AM

Between love and friendship
I'm waving like a lost ship
Between black and white
Grey takes away my sight

Between doubt and certitude
How can I have such an attitude?
I no more bear the confusion
Tell me is it truth or illusion?

I was dreaming when there came
A strange feeling I can not name
Since long you've been my only mate
My soul only you can penetrate

Inside me only you can see
Like sugar in a cup of tea
Like the door knows the key
Like the flower waits the bee

Today it is clearly seen
In between I should never have been
To a strong feeling you were blind
Something your eyes no longer hide

To your love I can fake
Not knowing my heart you can break

:P 12:32:00 AM

 Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."

The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that,
Mom."

Blood rush 8:46:00 PM

It hurts when you leave.. Can we rewind the hands of time to back where we were always together?.. You've change my life.

I wish time would stop 8:22:00 PM

What a week, fridays that were not as planned. Jeremy was suppose to book out today but he had confinement... I'm kinda sad, hope he's doing well. hmmm.. Well there's always the next long weekend.
Right now I'm just chilling at home with lilly. It's been awhile since we spent time together.. maybe tonight we'll do something.. Well that's all that has been happening beside the fact of boring school.. hmmm..


Caught in the middle.

Lord Jesus and Guardian Angels, watch over those whose names you can read in my heart. Guard over them with every care and make their way easy and their labours fruitful. Dry their tears if they weep; sanctify their joys; raise their courage if they weaken; restore their hope if they lose heart, their health if they be ill, truth if they err, repentance if they fail.        Amen.

Clouds are beautiful. 12:29:00 AM

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over. I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing... I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you..

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. "

only fools rush in.. 2:07:00 PM

Scream my heart out, break it, hurt it. I don't want to have it.


Not anymore.

Your making me insane 3:47:00 AM

Leave me alone now, let me think.

Bromance 2:29:00 AM

There are moments in my life that dreams can be so real that you just want to pick them up and embrace them; only to wake up and realise it's just reality playing a game on you.  It's funny how life brings you where you are right now with the choices that you've made. “They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now”


A feeling that cannot be explain only to be felt by one, it is such a complicated expression of the love that I have in me. Sometimes I see you, it feels so real but I know its a figment of my imagination, it is what I want you to be.  Well it's not what's in your mind, it is what's in your heart that I see.

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother; for those were some of the best times of my life.

The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it? 12:20:00 AM

I can't stand it anymore, emotions are driving me out of my mind. I just don't know what to do, or how to stop it. Why dose my past keeps coming back to haunt me? I know what the logical answer is, but some part of me just can't accept that.  Maybe its time I do something about it? Will someone please take a knife and stab my heart, the pain that I'm feeling might just go away.






Maybe in another life time, or universe. 

Covenant Thursday 3:56:00 AM

This year Maundy Thursday was nice, we manager to go around 6 churches only... Had lots of hot cross buns. yea.. Tomorrow will be the same, saint Joseph's for the procession than comes Saturday Easter vigil! :) Can't wait for it. haha

Okay, now I'm just shag, so goodnight internet people..

Bonds of trusts 11:18:00 PM

My mind is in a whirl, only to be understood by someone, who appears to be insane to the universe. Because this is what people do, they judge. from the path chosen to the colour of clouds a reigning in your sky. This is a sad place where acceptance exists only in gorgeous dreams. No where near my heart is peace; expect for a brief few moments of escape which will be cherished for as long as the beauty of the ocean shall live.


And where that beauty resides, shall the memories everlasting be a constant reminder of the most divine yet uninhibited expression of euphoria. 

- Anonymous   

Its not the things you've said, it's those you didn't. 12:09:00 AM

This month has not been a good month for me, alot of things has happen and is happening, and is not stopping just yet. Everything is just going wrong. 

Sometimes the people closest to you hurt you the most. They say things that you could never imagine, do things that you'd never do. Well what can I do but try to forgive? I'm tired of trying to make things at peace all the time, be treated as a doormat, and just be used when needed. That just shows how much I mean to you; how much you really care. Well I don't think I need someone like that so please just go, I'd do better without you.

"True colours are shown not by the biggest of things, but the tiniest."

Poem? 5:01:00 AM

Read this little poem, I love it. No, I didn't write it


If i dont call you

[ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]

When i walk away from you mad

[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth

[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you

[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i call you and say i cant sleep

[stay on the phone till i go to sleep]

When i start cussing at you

[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]

When im quiet

[ Ask me whats wrong ]

When i ignore you

[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away

[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst

[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying

[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]

When you see me walking

[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]

When im scared

[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder

[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i grab at your hands

[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i tease you

[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time

[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt

[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i love you

[ I really do more than you could understand ]

When i bump into you

[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret

[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes

[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you

[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart

[ the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over

[ i still want you to be mine ]

this is painfully obvious. 6:41:00 PM

I wish I could tell all of you my secret, maybe in the next life. 

maybe you're not worth it.

Silence 5:58:00 PM

I thought that I knew you

But now I'm not sure

You used to be friendly

But not anymore

Each day we grow farther

Apart and I'm sad

We used to be best friends

The best I ever had.

At some point things changed

And our lives split apart

I miss you so much

In my life – In my heart.

Sometimes things must happen

And friends drift away

I wish it weren't us

I wish not this way...

Your beautiful soul. 5:19:00 AM

What a week.. I just met Jimmy Jim jim just now, we went to have dinner at Chomp Comp.. Freaking bus too like forever to get there. Had a good dinner with him.
The last few days Sharon asked me to bake a cake last minute; which is in a shape of 30!! God I almost killed myself if without the help of Lillykerniweeeeee!! Hahahha all in all it was good.
I cant wait for monday and Friday!! :)

Would you be my best friend and follow me
through this never ending drama called life?
I believe we only have to go through it once.
It won't be a smooth journey that's what I've been told,
there's back-stabbers, liars and crooks along the way.
I'd watch your back every minute, but would you watch mine?
There's going to be happy moments too; one of them is 
spending time with you. Well that's all I know about this journey, so would you follow me and and find out together?


Photo Caption:
"My husband is the best friend I've ever had, and I'm the best friend he's ever had. We know we can always rely on each other, like we can on no one else. My pool of friends has slowly whittled down over the years, as person after person flaked out on me or proved themselves to be unreliable or too self-involved to really be able to give me back as much as they expected in return.
But not him. He gives me everything he has, without question, and I give him back just as much...and so neither of us really loses anything despite giving everything.
Instead, we gain. And that's love. Giving your whole self away, but being richer for it."

-Artful Magpie 

Fearless 7:55:00 AM

It's a typical Tuesday night and she doesn't get your humor like I do.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like and she'll never know your story like I do.


Graduation later in the afternoon, anxiety is possessing me.. The sun is beautiful today.

Love, the sand by the shore. 8:08:00 AM

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

There's something about you and the beach that I don't think I'll ever understand... Shall we just sit here and watch the sun set??

The footprints that you left me are still warm in my heart every time I think of you. Clasping our hands beneath the sands, laying here under stars with all our dreams; now, that's a wonderful night...

Someday all this would happen.

Remembering Sunday 6:16:00 PM

I still see you every night..

Blood rushes to my head when I'm awake.

I know now dreams are truly just dreams. 

Fairy tales are not of this world.

Everything thing seems so perfect;

you we're sooo happy!

We were just two sentimental fools 

traveling around the world with our hands together.

See you in the next life..

you keep hurting, I keep quiet.. 5:18:00 PM

Why do i even brother?? you treat me like i owe you a return.. I don't even know why I keep trying to stay on, what's the point? After all that we've been through, you act like nothing has ever happen. whatever fuck happen from now I'm not giving two shits. (or at least i'll try not to) it's just hurting me. To hell with all of you! 

Think whatever you want of me..