Cold Cold Heart 11:11:00 AM

Round and round carousel
Has got you under it's spell,
Moving so fast...
But going nowhere

Is it lonely?

Up and down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here

Is it lonely?

Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there

Is it lonely?

twenty 6 august 11:04:00 AM

Birthday is finally over.. Had a great one this year too! Thanks for all the warm wishes and gifts. :)
Well like I always say, It was a great trip around the sun again. Hahaha Looking forward to another ride.

Sunday morning 10:47:00 PM

Today Lilly had her Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens!

Welcome to the faith Lilly, hope you will continue to seek the good news.. :)

Well today is another sleepy Sunday… Wanted to go to Holland to get Valrhona cocoa but was too tired..
Last night we met jimmy at gardens to have dinner. Really enjoyed the satay man… it’s been so long since we went night cycling, all of us.. hahas midnight supper.

Well as for me same ol' usual thing… have another week before I go back to school…
Till then! Bye bye

Not to late.... hopefully 6:17:00 AM

Firstly, my throat is still killing me. I think it got worst instead of healing.. I'm having blood clots and aches at the surgical area . Hmmm... I have an appointment with the doc this Friday.

Secondly for the past weeks I've been staying home.. boredom usually strikes at 4am. Have practically nothing to do besides the internet and Norah Jones to keep me company although she can make me crazy at time when she makes me think too deeply...

Thirdly, I taught I'd never say this but I miss school. ha. Hopefully I can graduate. Have like what 4 weeks MC and so so so much work to do... SIAN...

Lastly, I might lose my mind if I don't do something soon. I hate to be sick, I feel so dysfunctional. Hmmm there's so many things to be done but I can't because of this agonizing pain. I wish it could all go away. Happy birthday Jude. hmmm

Praying softly in my heart that everything's going alright.
The pain and pangs that are unbearable.
I close my eyes when you're away
because the pain comes when you go astray.

Lying in my bed
tears are dry out from the pain,
and memories are running through my head.

There's nothing I can do but sit here and wait.
I dream of you everyday when I fall asleep.
You make me so happy when I'm awake.
You mean so much to me, girl you know it's true.

monday blues 4:41:00 PM

Day 7 after post tonsillectomy.

Feels like there's knifes down my throat and I feel like ripping my ears out because of the pain affecting it . I miss my dose of pain killers yesterday and the pain was unbearable. But after all, I hope everything goes well.

I don't know why but I've been feeling very sad these few day. I can't understand why these feelings are here but they are here. I wished it would go all away. hmmm....
I'm going to bring benny to the vet now. I think he sprain his paw.. hmmm.
till then..

speechless 7:52:00 PM

Surgery is finally over and now I just have to endure this pain for another two week while I’m in recovery. It was kinda scary, never been so nervous before.. Had needles in me, big syringe was there too.. haha but all went well…

Just before I went in, I could see the worry in my mum’s eye and lil’s too.. Sometimes I wish I could do this surgery without telling anyone. Hate it to see everyone like so worried. Well I don’t know what I’d do without all of you...

Lilly brought balloons and the nurses were shock hahaha… Jimmy came over when I got home.. we watch Charlie Bartlet. Thanks so much you guys! With you guys around the pain didn’t seems all that pain… :)

another kind of feeling that cannot be explain... 5:49:00 AM

Let's see what happens tmr... WOW.

after movie walk home... 4:13:00 AM

Short post... Just got home form the movie theatre.. Jimmy, lilly and I went to watch GI Joe… It was an okay movie to me. Jimmy met us at AMK after work and we came from my aunt’s birthday party.

Well today was kinda of a long day to me.. but I had loads of fun! It’s not going to end so soon; sharon’s coming home! Hahaha…

Hmmm till then. bb

What do you say
when it's all gone away ?
baby I didn't mean to hurt you
truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
no matter how hard you resist it
it never rains when you want it to

Time after Time 5:01:00 PM

Blogger is getting on my nerves! Anyways The other day I went for my appointment and guess what?! The doc said he's gonna stuff a camera down my nose! Yucks! It's was seriously disgusting to see the inside of your nose on TV... Hahhaah was rather uncomfortable but well.. This is how much I hate tonsillitis!.

I'm going to have my surgery on Tuesday and hopefully it goes well... There's a 1 in 25,000 chances that I might be in ICU... well hopefully I'm the 24,999th.. hehehe

Okays I gottta chow now.. Going leave you with my beautiful Throat, Voice Box, Tonsil and some weird ass thing... Chows!

BITCH BLOGGER!!!

Nightingale 5:52:00 AM

Blogger is finally working.. I'm happy and very nervous at the same time. Happy being I can resume updating my blog and nervous because of tomorrow.

I have an appointment in the morning with the doctor about my tonsillitis. Never did I imagine taking them out. I do not know how much it's gonna cost and everything... Hopefully not too much. hmmmm.

Listening to some jazz... trying to clam down, I'm full of anxiety; can't sleep.

wish me luck!

I turn your picture to the wall,

I don't want to see you anymore.

It's now all a memory,

now it can never be,

I'll never see you anymore..

Only thing now to do is close your eyes,

and dream.

everythings not lost... 3:26:00 AM

Everyone is tuck tightly in bed, as I watch the hour of the morning goes by. It is 3:15 am as I’m writing this. A shadow of sadness is around us, while our hearts fear for the worst and our tears try to wash the sorrows away.

Looking at the stars above us, praying for the storm to be over. The pain becomes numb and the heart changes. Feelings are thrown around, words hurts much more than actions. It’s no fantasy if you think about it.


Love; a feeling above all.

once again. 7:41:00 AM

my freaking tonsillitis just came back again. It's going to kill me... I can't go through this agonizing pain again, I want to have it removed so badly. hmmm... fever's back and i'm going crazy! It's too damn MF pain!!!

Every time when ever I have such good plans for the week ahead i'll get this... I feel like a virus/bacterial magnet. Someone please make this stop.

time that doesn't tick. 1:09:00 PM

THREE hours till freedom. bored to death in this class. Can't wait for the weekend to start. Better yet, school to end. 

walk by me... 12:07:00 AM

A lot had happen since the twenty third of July. Well last saturday jimmy and I went to the twenty four hours LAN shop at gardens. My friends told me about that place, the sucky thing was we spend thirty minutes figuring our how to work the computer and it kept jamming up. arrgh. Jimmy and I had a ridiculously good game of Left 4 Dead. hahaha we need to bring more ppl. it's hell lot of fun!

It's been awhile since I started working on something new. I'm up for a challenge. For the past few days I think my body has gone mad, couldn't do thing properly. what a question of science.

Right now I'm looking forward to tomorrow. School and than RCIA with lilly. Than come friday! woo-hoo! man how the days past.  

Confused as i can be

I know you're real to me.

days like this 12:56:00 AM

Today was a good day. Firstly, this morning was raining so heavily man i love rainy days. hahaha than jimmy and i had a L4D time out! woo-hoo! hahaha i think i love anything got to do with zombies... than met lilly and we went shopping ard city hall....

well just wanted to blog about today. such a nice day.

good night

Monday, monday, monday.... Woots! 8:30:00 PM

Well I guess today I had the Monday’s blues. I didn’t go to school, I know I have that bad habit which I’m trying to kick. Well I decided to make full use of my time by settling stuffs at home. Didn’t have the time to sort things out since the party. Major recovery. Hahaha

Well I’m looking forward to a good week. Have some tentative plans here and there. Right now I’m just learning some culinary stuff online, recipes and techniques. I’m thinking of enrolling myself into a pastry school next year, once I’m done with electronics. I’m so sick and tired of computers. I love doing things down to earth, like food, or clothes, or arts.

Well I guess I’ll take a day at a time. Right now I’m at lil’s workplace. Waiting for her to finish up. Hahaha I’m so excited! Can’t wait to spend a night out with her tonight! :)

Friday's bus ride 12:18:00 PM

On the bus ride home from school… It’s going to be a 45-minute ride. It’s so strange how time pass so fast without us noticing it. I feel so weird out inside of me. How I wish I could go back in time and make things different. What I would give to be in school another day. Hmmm… in a month time or so, it’s going to be my 18^th birthday. I seriously cannot believe it. I can remember my 8th birthday like it was months ago. Swhoosh.

Lilly 4:35:00 AM

Well it’s over, I’m glad it’s over and sad at the same time. I would say the party was a blast! Had tons of work to do, but I think it was all worth it.

Happy 18^th Birthday lilly!

Right now there’s nothing much to do, just unpacked and get going with our normal life. Hmmm…

You turned my darkness into light;

You made everything all right.

You picked me up when I was down;

You turned my life around.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A blessing is what you are to me.

When I needed you the most, you were there;

Even if it seemed like you didn't care.

When I didn't think I could make it another day,

You chased all my doubts away.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A treasure is what you are to me.

The world is full of many people, it's true;

But there is only one of you.

You fill my heart with love;

You're a God-sent gift from above.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

An angel is what you are to me.

Lost and alone, I will no longer be;

Because you are here with me.

There is no reason to be sad;

You've taken away all the bad.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A girlfriend is what you are to me.

My buddy 4:30:00 AM

The moon is at it's zenith,

I'm staring into space.

I take a glance at the stars,

There I see his face.

A smile stretched ear to ear,

Lights up my dingy soul.

He dances a jig through my thoughts,

My God! He's on a roll!

His soul is strong and full of will,

I'm so proud of him.

I admire his perseverance,

His laughter's never dim.

I spend a lot of time with him,

Happy it makes me feel.

He's the one in which I confide,

This I know is real.

Our friendship we now have

is something that I'd miss

but maybe once we let go

we will find eternal bliss.

When you think I'm being too tough,

Remember that which does not kill you

Makes you stronger.

When you need a friend to listen,

Remember that I am here for you,

Always.

When you doubt me,

Remember that I once knelt at your feet,

Washing them in service to you.

When you lose faith in yourself,

Remember that I never did,

Nor ever will.

A feeling that cannot be expressed. 7:26:00 AM

I can live with the nonsense, but not without you.

Please don't go so quickly, like a blink of an eye.

You are so much so a part of my life,

take that away and I might have five.

Maybe I'm delusional. [love you always]

Tonsillitis is killing me. Suffering in agonising pain.

We will miss you MJ 6:05:00 PM

I’m really sad and still in shocked that my childhood idol just pass away. He was seriously a great artist that shaped the world. All he ever wanted was peace and harmony with every nation and religion. And people accused him over the years with faults that they could not find in him. I’m deeply sadden with his sudden death and is legacy will definitely remain forever. Rest In Peace MJ.

Strange things 6:00:00 PM

This was seriously a strange week. Firstly Jeremy had an accident in the kitchen with his finger. Than Lil also had a mishap with her toe. Well I hope both of you guys get well soon.

Last night was an awesome night. Lil and I had a small little dinner date before we went to watch a movie with jimmy. Well we watched TRANSFORMERS! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. 2 thumbs up! Thx Jimmy for the movie! Hahaha let’s see what’s the next show we’ll watch. Burno? hahhaha

June, June 1:21:00 PM

In a weird way, time is actually passing by rather fast. I've been up all night thinking about it. Today is going to be a busy day for me, we'll be doing R&D for our projects. Hopefully I can take as much notes down as possible. Tomorrow's father's day and I haven't had much plan yet.

The next thing that is on my mind is Lil's 18th Birthday. There's loads of planing and I seriously can't wait. If any of you are having doubts of coming well you'll be missing BIG if you're not there. We're planing to have a Summer BBQ, Grill Lamb, Beef, Salmon ect. Oooo... Caviar with Malibu by the pool anyone? hahaha

Yup so there's going to be a whole lot of good food, booze and music. Man oh man. Lil!

hahahaha...

Well till than...

I kissed a boy. 7:38:00 AM

Holidays are here and it seems there's nothing to do. Boredom usually strikes in the middle of the night around 3 in the morning... Everyone seemed to be busy with something, well I'm just taking my time off and slacking the whole darn holidays.

I taught of getting a job a few times but I guess, I kinda want to have a little me time. I've been doing some studying online these few days about culinary and stuff.. I'm thinking of taking a part-time course next year... see how it goes than.

Life seems so unpredictable now, I hate it when that happens. Really confuse with alot of stuff; it seems like my head has been battling with my heart. Well not anymore, it's a fucking strange thing.

GOSH!! FUCKED!! Back to freaking square one! Have you ever felt like you're in two worlds?

Caught in between two personalities? Well yea.

The joy that is in my heart seem so cheerful. Glad to hear from you but why is this happening now? After a year since we last talk now this feeling's back?

We don't even talk anymore. You said you'd be here before but you never did.

It was the biggest mistake of our life. I had to leave something so precious before but now I wish it never happen at all.

The times that we had was good while it lasted. I miss you so, but it would be so weird now.

Wishful thinking always gets the side of me.

I'm so sorry,

Samuel Tristan Navarro

Mindless crap 8:21:00 AM

Every morning there is this black miner bird that will fly and crash into my window. At first it gave me a fright, I taught what was that. Since than every single day for the past few weeks it keeps coming. After it crashes it will just sit on the ledge of the window before flying off. Hahaha, the funny thing is, it's the only thing that's able to wake me up everyday.. haha.

Well for the past few days everything was alright, the usual shit that life throws at me. Firstly I spent $60 BUCKS on cab the other day. I started out in the central than down to the West, than back to the East. GOSH I feel like i've been rob. I could have bought the biggest bottle of Nielsen Massey Vanilla Extract with that money! Gosh

Well I stayed over at Cornell's place the other day. We did some photoshopping. Was really fun. I have nothing much to say... Later I'm going to meet Jimmy and most likely we're going town to get some shit.

Till than!

Slow days... 7:27:00 PM

Well, yesterday Lilly and I met up Cornell to pass her some stuff and chill out. We went all over town and we went to Holland Village also, got some chocolates there. We decided to make some cupcakes and we manage to thanks to lilian! =)

I'm super tired now, although I just got up from a long sleep. Hmmm... I'm going over to Cornell place today to chill out and do some shitz... well till tmr! :)

Untitled 8:28:00 AM

I had a nice time at Johor yesterday. Went to look at stuff at the shopping malls, sight seeing around the areas and just spending a day with a friend. Well it doesn't matter now...

Sadly I taught that beautiful day would end nicely, but I taught wrong.

Everything was going happily, until our differences came about.

Do what you have to, think what your have to think, to reach your "goal".

At the end of the day, I hope you're happy.......

Hmmm.. 4:24:00 AM

My holidays are finally here! I'm quite excited, I did well in my exams, I taught I was going to fail... Hopefully I can get a 4 this time round. The next thing is, this monday or tuesday we're be going to JB! Jeremy, lilly and I. Can't wait. Well jimmy is starting his internship soon so we don't have much time to hang out anymore. Lilly's going to start school soon and be busy with her studies. Looks like I'm stuck here with ol' brian and myself.

Maybe I should start finding a job. Something that I can do to earn myself some extra income.

Yea Jude you should do that...

Gosh six more months till xmas! hahaha call me crazy, I know it's kinda early but I just had a sudden rush. Another thing is hopefully I can freaking get my drivers license before xmas. hmmm....

I'm over at jimmy place now, super bored so pardon be on talking shit here. hahaha well it's my blog! shoosh!

bye I'll watch cartoon or something.

The strangest part. 4:06:00 AM

There is alot to be said and to be done, but i'd rather just time this time out and relax. Today is the firth day of the sixth month, I still can't accpect that half a year has just gone by.. In six month's time I'd be graduating and moving on with my life. I haven't quite picture a plan on where I'd go after college but I have somewhat a rough idea what I wanna do.

Two years ago I had a plan, but it didn't turn out how I expected it to be.

What I want to do is entirely different from what I'm studying. I'm good at what I'm studying but I don't have any interest in it whatsoever. I wouldn't want to ready a book that has more numbers than alphabets; I guess you wouldn't too. I want to do something more down to earth something that everyone would understand.

For the past few weeks I've been putting my mind onto the taught of what I want to do with my life. Where I'd like to go or be in five years time. Well, it's extremely hard for me to put a finger on that right now. Idea and taught has been going through my mind and I realise that it's only me out there in the real world. I think of starting up my own line of pastries but I haven't really taught of a 100% fool proof plan yet. There's still alot of detour and bumps. Money is one of the biggest issues; as usual.

But if all works well I hope I can be that tiny grain of salt of the earth.

A lot has come 2:50:00 AM

Good by May, hello June! I can't believe it's June already, half the year just went by with a blink of an eye. Everything is changing so dramatically and I'm sure it's going to keep changing till the end of the year... I haven't been writting much, been busy lately. lots has happen since last week. Let me see..

• went for Jeremy's event
• went to watch terminator
• baked.
• and all the other shits that I can't remember right now.

Tomorrow I'm having my last and final exam. Hopefully I do well. I can't wait for the holidays! There's lots to do and plan. Projects are going to keep me busy. I hope I can finish as many of them successfully. Although sometimes I get head over heels.

Well let's see what this summer has to offer! Have a great June everyone!!

Sugar 4:34:00 PM

Oh gosh... Finally I'm resting on my bed. It's been nearly a week since I last baked, and I told myself, No! this could not be happening!! Well I went to the supermarket today after we made a useless trip down to downtown east. Lilian and I were suppose to booked a chalet for her birthday, but ended up, going back empty handed.

Well, anyways Got myself some flour and other baking needs and I decided to make some macaroons today.

Well the macaroons did not turn out to how the macaroons I intended it to be. It came out some sort of shortbread-cookie thingy. Well there's always another try.

I made classic sugar cookies instead! :) Awesomelisicous

Prayer 11:46:00 PM

I thank you for my friends, for those who understand me better than I understand myself, for those who know me at my worst and still love me, for those who have forgiven me when I had no right to expect to be forgiven.
Help me to be as true to my friends as I would wish them to be to me.
Help me to take the first step to get into touch again with friends from whom I have drifted apart.
and help me to have no bitterness but only forgiveness to any of my friends who failed or who turned against me; this I ask for your love;'s sake. Amen.


Source: Jeremy's prayer book.

Strange Saturday.. 9:22:00 PM

Another lazy Saturday.. Something seems different than usual, I just can't put a finger onto what it is. I had a good dinner. Had a bad dream last night, I dreamt about my worst fear. Couldn't believe when I woke up. Told myself thank god it was a dream. But maybe, just maybe it might happen in reality. The signs are there.

Music seems to be the only thing that understands. Feelings inside me are all jumbled up, I don't know what I'm feeling. It's mixed with pain, joy, jealousy, love and fearfulness.

I wish this feeling inside me would just disappear. Life is just full of shitz...

How far is far?? 1:09:00 AM

I am speechless, I don't know what to say. I am so tired right now, but I had a fantastic Friday night. It sounds a little crazy but maybe we'll try it someday again. Lil and I cycled all the way to east coast to chill out at the beach there.. So sad Jeremy couldn't make it, as he had something on this evening. Well we'll go someday again kk!! Anyways we took around 1 1/2 hrs to reach there. It was a 15.6km cycle to the park; wasn't too bad...

Loads of traffic, stupid ppl bumping into each other and women driver! hahaha. was really fun.

I'm going to sleep now.

(too tired to upload the pictures...)

Caramel thursday 2:21:00 AM

I'm finally on my bed resting. Today lil came over and we started making some muffins and sugar cookies. It was good I'd say. Everything went well except for the icing and not forgetting my eyebrows and toes. Freaking boiling hot caramel splash onto my brows and toe. damn pain balls... Now it's swelling really bad and I hope it gets better.

Well, today was good.

I wish, I really wish we could turn back time together..

More like I had a better week than day 4:52:00 PM

Still down with the cold... Look like it's going to stay for long.. I can't do anything, feeling so weak too. Plans today had to cancel. I was suppose to follow jimmy for his interview this morning, than chow down to school for awhile, but what the hack. Damn flu

I just got back from the clinic, and the doc gave me 2 days MC!! well it's not happening when you're unwell.. damn. Hahaha the doctor said I had most of the swine flu symptoms. well I ain't pig.

well I'm more than happy to stay home...

Oh wait! This seriously made my day. I need to find that owner! She's crazy like sharon with benny.

What's up with the party hats and balloons?? hahaha

In the middle of the night! 2:06:00 AM

waken up by the wary of life in the middles night. Shock and uncertain where I was, I realise it was only my room. Wondering who's still awake at this hour, I went online. Lil was still on, chatted with her for awhile and now, the silence in the night seems so dead. And lifeless.

My nose feels like a tap. My head feels like a drum and my body feel like a meat tenderiser is hitting it. Geezed! I guess i'd got to see a doctor.

Till the drips stop...

I had better days.. 10:04:00 PM

Down with the flu... hope its not swine or that hunch I had. WHO was right. I hope it's not the end of the world. Well anyways I just got a new oven and it's so cool. Just baked some bread to try out. It came out awesome.

till the flu's over.. bye

Something from the heart. 3:53:00 AM

I can't sleep. Somethings are in my head that are bothering me. I just need to let you know both that I'll sill love you the same what ever happens. It just hurts me sometimes, but I'm pointing fingers at anyone. We're only human, you and me. Life is too short to have pride and ego to cover up our true self.

I maybe sensitive at times, but I'll always try to understand your situation. Love and care is a two way path in human nature, I was taught to live with only one; give but have nothing in return. But sometimes it just kills me inside, so maybe today is one of those days.

I'm sorry if I have ever let you down; mistakes can only be learnt when the person sees the outcome. I'll try to do that.

For what it's worth, both of you'll are my biggest inspirations.

Something that was not to be spoken of. 3:20:00 AM

Saturday wasn't such a good day.. It was fun and everything, but not how I pictured the day would end. Three of us, Jimmy, Lil & I went to have supper at the new Prata shop near jimmy's place. While we were cycling there, I saw this ambulance next to me. Personally I don't like ambulance, police cars or fire trucks. It's kinda like an omen to me.

Yea so anyways, we went to eat, enjoyed the food.. After we left the coffeeshop, I felt like as if there was this weight next to me on my bike that was trying to pin me down. I just didn't bother at first. After a while later I had a really bad fall while going to the slope, the bike skidded with me. I had some cuts on my hand, twisted my shoulder and my whole left arm was numb.

I just didn't want to bother about the pain, I just laugh about it. I seriously think that was a bad night, whatever that was trying to get me.

I just got back from the movies. It was a interesting show, I'll just call it A&D. It kinda get you thinking about the Vatican. Not about the catholic church, more on the Vatican councils.

Well it's been a long day. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Till then,

God bless.

Ice-cream??!! 9:42:00 PM

Just got back from compass point... Had dinner with mum at KFC hahha haven't had dinner with her for a while now, just the two of us. Well, went to look around at stuff.. Kinda lazy.. today feels like a lazy Sunday, somehow.

I can't wait for next week! Tuesday somebody special is coming to my place to stay!! :) I think I'm becoming crazy... I'm so excited I can't stop this anxiety.

I'm so bored... There nothing to do, ON A SATURDAY NIGHT! nothing's on TV, facebook or the net is not doing any good..

Surprising this was in orchard...

A new place. a new routine! :) 3:24:00 AM

These are one of those nights that are silence, The streets seems so lifeless at this hour. Well it's not how the Friday night I pictured, but that would do. Hopefully my weekend is going to be supered! :)

I'm spending the night chilling with Jimmy today. We went to have supper at the Prata shop behind his place. Was not bad, something new.. It was kinda scary cycling through the private estate in the dark streets, but it was fun to have that thrill at the same time. I'm going to miss these time, cycling in the middle of the night to nowhere, laughing, talking shit about our daily lives.. I'm going to miss you when things start to change for us as we both have to go our own ways... Never taught I'd have a friend like you... Deep down I'm happy and sad at the same time, hopefully this will never end. Hmmm...

Anyways now I'm back at his place.. just surfing the net while you're sleeping! Told you'd sleep! :) hehe...

Friendship, a gift from God.

Life is just full of shits, thing that you have to go through and don't, things you got to try and things you have do to that you don't like. It's really unfair but that fucking life! Hopefully heaven would be better..

I see no change 1:45:00 PM

I have just change the templete.... Still working on it.

If only it was that easy...

$$$$ 11:40:00 PM

The paper with the 4 magic number has finally come,

it is in good hands now and all I have to do is wait for 3 days...

Soon.... :)

Thx for following me guys

The love that you bring. 3:43:00 AM

Saying a little prayer for you as I rest my head and go to bed,

Thinking of you every night before I sleep.

May you have the most wonderful dream and goodnight.

You'll always the warmth in my heart, love you.

Friday that seems to be like a Thursday. 4:40:00 AM

Sometimes I wish you would understand me better,
trust me and have faith that we'll grow old together.
There is no limits to what I'd do for you.
Let it be something so simple like a shoulder
or learning how to fly, I'd always want you to have the best.

You bring light into my life, when there's darkness.
You're always there even before I need you.
You have shown me what and how much you care;
I am grateful for that.

Now all I ask, if you could see the light that I bring to you.
I'll only give you when you need it, but not when you want it.
So if there's a day that we run out topics in our conversations,
let us just keep our mouth shut.
Because you wouldn't need a mounth to speak when there's love.

I hope we would last, because I've shown you all I have;
there's nothing more of me than what you can see now.
This is me, only me. No masks, no disguise.
If the day comes when need more, I'm sorry;
but that's all I have, now and forever more.






These rainy night makes me wonder. The thunder roars and the splattering rains sounds so familiar. I'm over at Jimmy's place now, we went to catch a midnight show; Star Trek. Well it's a good movie. Very future realistic. We walked back from AMK hub and now i'm dead tired. Going to take a shut eye soon and I can't wait to see what's installed for me tomorrow! Oh ya! I tottaly need to get a last minute present for mother's day. Far east flora! Till tmr good night.

wooo!!! rainey nights =D
ps: I had a dejavu during the movie.

Lost day, Bad dream...

Just another Monday's blue 9:21:00 PM

Woah, it’s been like so many days since I’ve updated. Load’s have happen since I last updated. We went night cycling again to Parsir Ris this time with Ricky. Went for a SJC drama play at NAFA; was really good. Yea and load more that I’m too lazy to think back now.

Today school was okay, accept they were a lot of health checkup because of the SIV. Damn sickening. Well after school I went down to ikea to buy some kitchenware… yea boring day, nothing much… I guess I’ll just wait for Sharon to get back home tonight :D

Bored = Bo red. 11:26:00 AM

Jude is dead tired and bored in school now. DAMN this projects....

Monday Blues 11:35:00 PM

Damn tired. Had to do my fitness test today, and I walk home from Ang Mo kio. yea. Legs are officially dead.. Goodnight.

We ain't so big no more.. 6:13:00 AM

(Spitzer's Infrared image of the Milky Way Galaxy)

Have you ever look up at the sky at night and asked yourself, where are we in this vast emptiness of space? Well I do. I don’t know about you, but if you can visualise big numbers, you’d understand what I’m talking about. Let us travel from the start, to the end.

Earth, or as we know it as home, is the only place in the universe where life is known to exist. Life on Earth is abundant, everywhere there’s life. From the deepest ocean to the peak of mountains, there’s certainly life. Earth has only one known satellite; or I’d like to call it, the Moon. Earth is home to everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived here.

(The first photograph of an Earthrise by humans.)

Let’s go back to something more down to earth, like our neighbourhood. We all know that there are eight planets in our solar system, and there are another five more dwarf planets, so there is a total of 13 planets in our solar system.
There’s the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, (The Asteroids Belt), Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, (The Kuiper Belt), Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, (The scattered Disk), Eris and the Oort Cloud.
Well that’s just 13 planets, hundreds of moons, The asteroid belts and the other debris from the formation of the Solar System orbiting one star; our Sun.

(The Milky Way as seen from Death Valley.)

Than comes the Local Interstellar Cloud or called the Local Fluff is a cloud where our solar system is in and is moving.
Than next we’re in this Local Bubble, where it sits at the Orion Arm in our Milky Way Galaxy.
The Orion Arm is just one minor spiral arm in our Milky Way Galaxy. The Milky Way is know to harvest approximately 200 billion stars. Our Milky Way galaxy looks like a stream of milk in the night sky, hence it’s name, and our galaxy is one of a 100 billion in the known side of the universe.

(the majestic spiral galaxy NGC 4414, NASA, ESA Hubble Space Telescope)

Our known observable universe is very large, it spreads over a distance of 93 billion light years across of space. Once light year is roughly 9.4 trillion km, or the time light travels in one year.

So where is earth in this emptiness of space? I don’t know.

(The Hubble Ultra Deep Field, is an image of thousands of galaxies)

To me, life here on earth is so small. We’re like ants, digging holes into the earth to make cities. Oblivious to what’s really around us out there. There is so much wonder out there that I myself cannot possibly imagine. Look at it this way, when you sow a seed, how can that small seed turn in to bush of flowers? That one tiny seed, now made colours, sent, and beauty. The next time you see a plant, take a look at it’s leaves. You’d realise how unique and detailed a leave can be. So simple as it is, life can flourish around earth.

Weekend getaway 10:21:00 PM

Just another weekend runaway adventure. I'm tired and sleepy, but what the hack, I only have one weekend to enjoy every week.

Church tomorrow morning.

If i fall in love with you its not my fault... 8:37:00 PM

Falling in love with you

is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Some people find that strange,

but then,

they haven't been fighting their heart for years,

relabling every feeling as "misguided" or worse.

When I speak to you,

I'm still waiting for the numbness that refuses to come.

The other day when you left,

my heart screamed a protest.

Was it fake?

I ask myself the question again,

the same question I've been asking for all this time.

The difficulty of the situation is made harder

by the fact you want me too.

How do I know?

The smiles you give me,

the phrases you choose,

your eyes.

I stare into your eyes and my heart jumps.

I stare into your eyes and my head reels.

You've taken over my mind and stolen my heart.

but its alright i dont want it back.

you can take it but please dont break it....

i loved you then and i love you now

i wanted to tell you i just didnt know how.

i lay in bed with thoughts of you

running through my head......

But I just want this part of me to disappear,

and back where we were before.

Food Fair! 2:29:00 AM

Today was my class Carnival food fair.. It was so fun. I didn't get to sleep much the night before, so what the hack, I just got to school. Got there, The crowed was great. We manage to make a profit of about $30 each. Hahaha at least it's better than nothing or better yet a lost. hahaha.

Well the cakes and brownies was so happening. My friend's mum made it was awesome. Other's sold donuts, sweets, satay, drink and muffins.

He's backkkk... 2:15:00 AM

Jude's back! :)

Fuck it, I quit. 3:20:00 PM

I feel so fucked up. So many shits that gotta be done. Please... hmmm… I just want to give up like seriously. No more shits has got to be done. Maybe the days aren't so happy anymore.

The stupid things that I do.

Crazy cross town cycle. 5:22:00 AM

After the night market at compass point, and all that Ramly burger we were chillout under the block like some mat deciding what to do next. We finally decided to go cycling. But to where?? Parsir Ris Park! Yup. We called Shina and she could join us too…

We took the Defu Lane - Old Tampines road – Elias Road. But when we were on our way back, we found out we could that the new Bungkok Road and we cut 20minutes off our clock.

So anyways we had so much fn at the playground! We went on the spiderweb thing, which I was soaked in perspiration, like as if I just came out form a bath. Did some flying fox thinging, which Jeremy nearly flew. And our usual disk like spin. And we ended off with the good ol’ swing. The RAIN CAME!! We rushed, and cycled to a bicycle shop that had a very small sheltered parameter. Well at least we’re out of the downpour. We kinda dryed ourself and chillout there for like I thin 40 minutes and afterwards dash to the toilet, than down to a block near by the park.

After awhile the rain stop and we headed home. Well it was a nice ride back home. Morning came, the birds started chipping and the air was fresh. Welll I really enjoyed myself at this crazy cross town cycle. We gotta do this some day again.

Woohoo!!

The furniture store 6:35:00 PM

Going to ikea now :)

It's not the right time, it's like the end of the world. 8:13:00 AM

Too tired right now. Have lots on my mind... Having a pain because of all this.

Maybe it would be better if I never existed.

[[it defiantly can't be fluffy anymore]]