You're all I have. 10:39:00 PM

I don't understand... I don't understand why are we so different. Is Different good or is Same better? Somethings that we do seems to be worlds apart, it's frustrating at time but I'll try to deal with it but I just don't seem to understand why. 
We're different people from different background but who is being logical? So nearly the case that it can be regarded as so; virtual and practical.. I rushed into this, maybe it wasn't a good idea to even begin.. 

Change; to make or become different.

Sunday Morning 12:14:00 AM

Paul Smith from Lilian... Thx so much for today babe! Totally shag after shopping with lilly for more than 12hrs; right after sunday church.

Firstly, 

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY JEREMY!

Well it was an awesomelious week. Sunday meet up with jrmy, rey and heleyna... Jeremy gave us a birthday treat at Chomp Chomp, was really satisfying. Thanks Jimmy! L4D after dinner and we manage to catch Phobia 2 and Gamer all in the same week. hahaha... 
That's not all, later i'd be meeting him... Let's see what happens next? =D

Orchard 6:12:00 PM

Just walking around now....

Life sucks hard at this stage. 2:06:00 PM

Well hmm alot of shit has been happening lately... I don't wanna talk about it.. I'm having my holidays and I don't seem to be enjoying them at all one bit. I guess there's nothing much to do other that my usual stuff.. Everyone is busy with either this or that. Lilly has her art stuff to deal with, Jeremy is working like a workaholic... he barely have time for anyone now... Cornell, Sharon and practically everyone els is working. hmmm... 

Well I guess it's just me myself and I again. I was thinking of catching a movie but it seems that I have to fall ill again.  Jeremy was telling me about the movie moon; he said it was really good, hopefully they'll still have it in theatre by the time I catch it. Please mind the fact that I'm super bored at home and I'd rather be in school (seriously) or working but I'm down with this FUCKING infection. Hate Germs and Viruses and these MF Bacterias... Go to hell!! The power of Dettol compels you!! 

I'm going crazy, Seriously I am. It's been over 2 months am I'm still sick. yes sick. Before Lilian's birthday party It started... The first few weeks after Jrmy started work. I had my tonsillitis at jimmy place right after we went to have supper...  Hopefully I can get my life back soon and till then!

[It's been 2 months 17 days 13 hours and 51 minutes ] 

What a morning to start 9:50:00 AM

Been waiting and waiting and waiting... On top of that i'm having a fever... Sharon too. I guess the virus got to her too *cough cough* please pray that they won't put that camera/tube down my nose again... ):

hmmm 3:40:00 AM

"Evil does not exist, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

Lilly 2:20:00 AM

Something that should'nt have happen. 9:36:00 PM

Guess what? Tonsilitist is back after I went for a tonsilitomy... WHAT THE FUCK!! It's damn sucky...

Been having fever for the past few days.. was around 40.. :( Right now I'm feeling very weak and can't do much. I wish this would all go away. I'm tired of the doctors and the pain.. hmmm.. Feel like dying right now. Just wish I could.

Well hopefully there will be better days...

Feeling the same way all over again.. 12:35:00 AM

Should I leave it as it is?

sit back and watch it all end?

I know it takes two hands to clap,

but what the use of clapping if the hands are busy?

My heart is battling with my head

I guess I'd ignore all this feelings instead.

hmmm...

I wish we could go back to the past

to those days when we had a blast!

Maybe I'd just let us be

hopefully we can be free

There are so many thing left unsaid

but i know we choose to keep it in our heads.

If we ever meet again in a few years

just so you know, i'd still be here.

What a friend you're to me

well, that's all we can ever be.

A forced feeling 12:11:00 AM

Back to school for me. Although tomorrow is going to be a Thursday, it sure doesn't feel like it. I have left exactly 7 days left before my holidays again. great. It's strange why everything is going so differently nowadays, how I wish it would all slow down. Dear friends, night cycling, Beaches, laughter, skating, mid-night movies, and games nights are now only but a memory. hmmm...

I would say I'm happy where I'm at now, although it may not seem all that perfect but thanks to the people that touch my life I'm willing to give it another try. I did alot of thinking while at home.Man, how blind I can be. A few more months till the end of this year. I hope at the end of it I can say it was a good year. Being away from school for so long, I have lost this feeling of accomplishment. Like the times where you finish a project and you can say, wow I did that? Hahaha.

Maybe if I squeeze in the time for October I can try to do something I have the passion for. Well lets see how much workload are there on my desk tomorrow. Oh shit. I have my NAFA test to take still. great. Till tomorrow, Good bye

Autumn is back again
it may seem insane.
Time passes by so fast
I just want to embrace my past.

In denial I can be
that's something you won't agree.
Someone please save me
or can you just let me be?

I've gotta move on
and all the memories soon would be gone.
Till the next day we'll meet
I promises it'll be sweet.

Coffee afternoon 3:59:00 PM

So i'm at starbucks now... At raffle's city just waiting for lilly to finish school...
Just now jimmy and I went down to the CMBP place for his army... Before that we waited for like 2hrs for his glasses Hahaha like wtf?
Anyways i should have brought my laptop... Right now i'm bloging using my phone... How sad... Well i have another 2 more hours till lilly finish...
Till then!

Jeremy 1:03:00 PM

Waiting for his new glasses

Baybeats! 7:10:00 PM

Baybeats was awesome this year followed lilly, ricky and Jimy! Well Anberlin was good. We got smashed in the mosh pit. hahas

Cold Cold Heart 11:11:00 AM

Round and round carousel
Has got you under it's spell,
Moving so fast...
But going nowhere

Is it lonely?

Up and down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here

Is it lonely?

Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there

Is it lonely?

twenty 6 august 11:04:00 AM

Birthday is finally over.. Had a great one this year too! Thanks for all the warm wishes and gifts. :)
Well like I always say, It was a great trip around the sun again. Hahaha Looking forward to another ride.

Sunday morning 10:47:00 PM

Today Lilly had her Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens!

Welcome to the faith Lilly, hope you will continue to seek the good news.. :)

Well today is another sleepy Sunday… Wanted to go to Holland to get Valrhona cocoa but was too tired..
Last night we met jimmy at gardens to have dinner. Really enjoyed the satay man… it’s been so long since we went night cycling, all of us.. hahas midnight supper.

Well as for me same ol' usual thing… have another week before I go back to school…
Till then! Bye bye

Not to late.... hopefully 6:17:00 AM

Firstly, my throat is still killing me. I think it got worst instead of healing.. I'm having blood clots and aches at the surgical area . Hmmm... I have an appointment with the doc this Friday.

Secondly for the past weeks I've been staying home.. boredom usually strikes at 4am. Have practically nothing to do besides the internet and Norah Jones to keep me company although she can make me crazy at time when she makes me think too deeply...

Thirdly, I taught I'd never say this but I miss school. ha. Hopefully I can graduate. Have like what 4 weeks MC and so so so much work to do... SIAN...

Lastly, I might lose my mind if I don't do something soon. I hate to be sick, I feel so dysfunctional. Hmmm there's so many things to be done but I can't because of this agonizing pain. I wish it could all go away. Happy birthday Jude. hmmm

Praying softly in my heart that everything's going alright.
The pain and pangs that are unbearable.
I close my eyes when you're away
because the pain comes when you go astray.

Lying in my bed
tears are dry out from the pain,
and memories are running through my head.

There's nothing I can do but sit here and wait.
I dream of you everyday when I fall asleep.
You make me so happy when I'm awake.
You mean so much to me, girl you know it's true.

monday blues 4:41:00 PM

Day 7 after post tonsillectomy.

Feels like there's knifes down my throat and I feel like ripping my ears out because of the pain affecting it . I miss my dose of pain killers yesterday and the pain was unbearable. But after all, I hope everything goes well.

I don't know why but I've been feeling very sad these few day. I can't understand why these feelings are here but they are here. I wished it would go all away. hmmm....
I'm going to bring benny to the vet now. I think he sprain his paw.. hmmm.
till then..

speechless 7:52:00 PM

Surgery is finally over and now I just have to endure this pain for another two week while I’m in recovery. It was kinda scary, never been so nervous before.. Had needles in me, big syringe was there too.. haha but all went well…

Just before I went in, I could see the worry in my mum’s eye and lil’s too.. Sometimes I wish I could do this surgery without telling anyone. Hate it to see everyone like so worried. Well I don’t know what I’d do without all of you...

Lilly brought balloons and the nurses were shock hahaha… Jimmy came over when I got home.. we watch Charlie Bartlet. Thanks so much you guys! With you guys around the pain didn’t seems all that pain… :)