A Rush of Blood to the Head? 2:07:00 AM

I can't stop my heart's desires,
is that the way it suppose to be?
A feeling so strong I feel weak inside.
I'd try to fake it outside.
hmmm...

What a Life, Love & Art.

Days like these.... 12:36:00 AM

What a monday to start the week. Pizza the night before, Morning breakfast at macs, i had my mc cuddles hahaha... Anyways it was a really nice day to hang out with jrmy in the afternoon. I haven't seen that fella in the afternoon for so long...

In the evening we went grab dinner at the bakery and some bubble tea, than off to Left 4 Dead! Ricky meet us there and we had a hella of a good time. (minus the toilet smelling part.)

Right now I'm just exhausted after rushing back home thinking it would rain... hmm

Well all in all it was an awesome day, let see what's in stored for tmr! :)

beneath the October stars we hold hands in the cold, cold air. 7:35:00 AM

Tell me how you've been,
Tell what you've seen,
Tell me that you'd like to see me too.
'cause my heart is full of no blood,
My cup is full of no love,

Couldn't take another sip even if I wanted.
My lungs are out of air,
Yours are holding smoke,
And it's been like that for so long.
I've seen people try to change,
And I know it isn't easy,
But nothin' worth the time ever is.


And it's not too late,

It's not too late for love....

Last night Jeremy and I went to catch a midnight movie. We kinda rush like crazy to the theatre to catch a 12 O' clocker... It was kinda my fault because I didn't calculate the timing correctly on the site; there was actually a 2am show also.. :(
Well it was a good show and we walk all the way home! Jeremy's crazy! the night before, after work, jeremy meet us to play ld4 till 5.30am too.. I have on idea how he can manage his sleep. haha..


Now i'm just at home, spending time with family and stuff.. haven't played with benny for awhile now, and I'm going to make pizzas! (In compliment of jrmy's cheese, thx btw)


Till then!

Fame 2009 6:37:00 PM

You're in my dreams.. 10:49:00 PM

As much as it hurts me deep down inside,
I know this is all we can ever be.
I'm not asking for more, I'm just feeling a little sore.
When I think of you my world is in a hurled whirl,
you make me glad when i'm feeling sad.
I wish I could burst out and let you know how I feel, but that would be near anything real.
As it rains tonight, my heart wants me to write.
But how can that be, when my head is in a fight?


Sjwjnt Ubjg Cj Dbrah

Starbucks evening... 11:01:00 PM

Benny 10:13:00 PM

You're all I have. 10:39:00 PM

I don't understand... I don't understand why are we so different. Is Different good or is Same better? Somethings that we do seems to be worlds apart, it's frustrating at time but I'll try to deal with it but I just don't seem to understand why. 
We're different people from different background but who is being logical? So nearly the case that it can be regarded as so; virtual and practical.. I rushed into this, maybe it wasn't a good idea to even begin.. 

Change; to make or become different.

Sunday Morning 12:14:00 AM

Paul Smith from Lilian... Thx so much for today babe! Totally shag after shopping with lilly for more than 12hrs; right after sunday church.

Firstly, 

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY JEREMY!

Well it was an awesomelious week. Sunday meet up with jrmy, rey and heleyna... Jeremy gave us a birthday treat at Chomp Chomp, was really satisfying. Thanks Jimmy! L4D after dinner and we manage to catch Phobia 2 and Gamer all in the same week. hahaha... 
That's not all, later i'd be meeting him... Let's see what happens next? =D

Orchard 6:12:00 PM

Just walking around now....

Life sucks hard at this stage. 2:06:00 PM

Well hmm alot of shit has been happening lately... I don't wanna talk about it.. I'm having my holidays and I don't seem to be enjoying them at all one bit. I guess there's nothing much to do other that my usual stuff.. Everyone is busy with either this or that. Lilly has her art stuff to deal with, Jeremy is working like a workaholic... he barely have time for anyone now... Cornell, Sharon and practically everyone els is working. hmmm... 

Well I guess it's just me myself and I again. I was thinking of catching a movie but it seems that I have to fall ill again.  Jeremy was telling me about the movie moon; he said it was really good, hopefully they'll still have it in theatre by the time I catch it. Please mind the fact that I'm super bored at home and I'd rather be in school (seriously) or working but I'm down with this FUCKING infection. Hate Germs and Viruses and these MF Bacterias... Go to hell!! The power of Dettol compels you!! 

I'm going crazy, Seriously I am. It's been over 2 months am I'm still sick. yes sick. Before Lilian's birthday party It started... The first few weeks after Jrmy started work. I had my tonsillitis at jimmy place right after we went to have supper...  Hopefully I can get my life back soon and till then!

[It's been 2 months 17 days 13 hours and 51 minutes ] 

What a morning to start 9:50:00 AM

Been waiting and waiting and waiting... On top of that i'm having a fever... Sharon too. I guess the virus got to her too *cough cough* please pray that they won't put that camera/tube down my nose again... ):

hmmm 3:40:00 AM

"Evil does not exist, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

Lilly 2:20:00 AM

Something that should'nt have happen. 9:36:00 PM

Guess what? Tonsilitist is back after I went for a tonsilitomy... WHAT THE FUCK!! It's damn sucky...

Been having fever for the past few days.. was around 40.. :( Right now I'm feeling very weak and can't do much. I wish this would all go away. I'm tired of the doctors and the pain.. hmmm.. Feel like dying right now. Just wish I could.

Well hopefully there will be better days...

Feeling the same way all over again.. 12:35:00 AM

Should I leave it as it is?

sit back and watch it all end?

I know it takes two hands to clap,

but what the use of clapping if the hands are busy?

My heart is battling with my head

I guess I'd ignore all this feelings instead.

hmmm...

I wish we could go back to the past

to those days when we had a blast!

Maybe I'd just let us be

hopefully we can be free

There are so many thing left unsaid

but i know we choose to keep it in our heads.

If we ever meet again in a few years

just so you know, i'd still be here.

What a friend you're to me

well, that's all we can ever be.

A forced feeling 12:11:00 AM

Back to school for me. Although tomorrow is going to be a Thursday, it sure doesn't feel like it. I have left exactly 7 days left before my holidays again. great. It's strange why everything is going so differently nowadays, how I wish it would all slow down. Dear friends, night cycling, Beaches, laughter, skating, mid-night movies, and games nights are now only but a memory. hmmm...

I would say I'm happy where I'm at now, although it may not seem all that perfect but thanks to the people that touch my life I'm willing to give it another try. I did alot of thinking while at home.Man, how blind I can be. A few more months till the end of this year. I hope at the end of it I can say it was a good year. Being away from school for so long, I have lost this feeling of accomplishment. Like the times where you finish a project and you can say, wow I did that? Hahaha.

Maybe if I squeeze in the time for October I can try to do something I have the passion for. Well lets see how much workload are there on my desk tomorrow. Oh shit. I have my NAFA test to take still. great. Till tomorrow, Good bye

Autumn is back again
it may seem insane.
Time passes by so fast
I just want to embrace my past.

In denial I can be
that's something you won't agree.
Someone please save me
or can you just let me be?

I've gotta move on
and all the memories soon would be gone.
Till the next day we'll meet
I promises it'll be sweet.

Coffee afternoon 3:59:00 PM

So i'm at starbucks now... At raffle's city just waiting for lilly to finish school...
Just now jimmy and I went down to the CMBP place for his army... Before that we waited for like 2hrs for his glasses Hahaha like wtf?
Anyways i should have brought my laptop... Right now i'm bloging using my phone... How sad... Well i have another 2 more hours till lilly finish...
Till then!

Jeremy 1:03:00 PM

Waiting for his new glasses

Baybeats! 7:10:00 PM

Baybeats was awesome this year followed lilly, ricky and Jimy! Well Anberlin was good. We got smashed in the mosh pit. hahas

Cold Cold Heart 11:11:00 AM

Round and round carousel
Has got you under it's spell,
Moving so fast...
But going nowhere

Is it lonely?

Up and down
Ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high...
Looking down here

Is it lonely?

Did the clown
Make you smile
He was only your fool for a while
Now he's gone back home
And left you wandering there

Is it lonely?

twenty 6 august 11:04:00 AM

Birthday is finally over.. Had a great one this year too! Thanks for all the warm wishes and gifts. :)
Well like I always say, It was a great trip around the sun again. Hahaha Looking forward to another ride.

Sunday morning 10:47:00 PM

Today Lilly had her Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens!

Welcome to the faith Lilly, hope you will continue to seek the good news.. :)

Well today is another sleepy Sunday… Wanted to go to Holland to get Valrhona cocoa but was too tired..
Last night we met jimmy at gardens to have dinner. Really enjoyed the satay man… it’s been so long since we went night cycling, all of us.. hahas midnight supper.

Well as for me same ol' usual thing… have another week before I go back to school…
Till then! Bye bye

Not to late.... hopefully 6:17:00 AM

Firstly, my throat is still killing me. I think it got worst instead of healing.. I'm having blood clots and aches at the surgical area . Hmmm... I have an appointment with the doc this Friday.

Secondly for the past weeks I've been staying home.. boredom usually strikes at 4am. Have practically nothing to do besides the internet and Norah Jones to keep me company although she can make me crazy at time when she makes me think too deeply...

Thirdly, I taught I'd never say this but I miss school. ha. Hopefully I can graduate. Have like what 4 weeks MC and so so so much work to do... SIAN...

Lastly, I might lose my mind if I don't do something soon. I hate to be sick, I feel so dysfunctional. Hmmm there's so many things to be done but I can't because of this agonizing pain. I wish it could all go away. Happy birthday Jude. hmmm

Praying softly in my heart that everything's going alright.
The pain and pangs that are unbearable.
I close my eyes when you're away
because the pain comes when you go astray.

Lying in my bed
tears are dry out from the pain,
and memories are running through my head.

There's nothing I can do but sit here and wait.
I dream of you everyday when I fall asleep.
You make me so happy when I'm awake.
You mean so much to me, girl you know it's true.

monday blues 4:41:00 PM

Day 7 after post tonsillectomy.

Feels like there's knifes down my throat and I feel like ripping my ears out because of the pain affecting it . I miss my dose of pain killers yesterday and the pain was unbearable. But after all, I hope everything goes well.

I don't know why but I've been feeling very sad these few day. I can't understand why these feelings are here but they are here. I wished it would go all away. hmmm....
I'm going to bring benny to the vet now. I think he sprain his paw.. hmmm.
till then..

speechless 7:52:00 PM

Surgery is finally over and now I just have to endure this pain for another two week while I’m in recovery. It was kinda scary, never been so nervous before.. Had needles in me, big syringe was there too.. haha but all went well…

Just before I went in, I could see the worry in my mum’s eye and lil’s too.. Sometimes I wish I could do this surgery without telling anyone. Hate it to see everyone like so worried. Well I don’t know what I’d do without all of you...

Lilly brought balloons and the nurses were shock hahaha… Jimmy came over when I got home.. we watch Charlie Bartlet. Thanks so much you guys! With you guys around the pain didn’t seems all that pain… :)

another kind of feeling that cannot be explain... 5:49:00 AM

Let's see what happens tmr... WOW.

after movie walk home... 4:13:00 AM

Short post... Just got home form the movie theatre.. Jimmy, lilly and I went to watch GI Joe… It was an okay movie to me. Jimmy met us at AMK after work and we came from my aunt’s birthday party.

Well today was kinda of a long day to me.. but I had loads of fun! It’s not going to end so soon; sharon’s coming home! Hahaha…

Hmmm till then. bb

What do you say
when it's all gone away ?
baby I didn't mean to hurt you
truth spoke in whispers will tear you apart
no matter how hard you resist it
it never rains when you want it to

Time after Time 5:01:00 PM

Blogger is getting on my nerves! Anyways The other day I went for my appointment and guess what?! The doc said he's gonna stuff a camera down my nose! Yucks! It's was seriously disgusting to see the inside of your nose on TV... Hahhaah was rather uncomfortable but well.. This is how much I hate tonsillitis!.

I'm going to have my surgery on Tuesday and hopefully it goes well... There's a 1 in 25,000 chances that I might be in ICU... well hopefully I'm the 24,999th.. hehehe

Okays I gottta chow now.. Going leave you with my beautiful Throat, Voice Box, Tonsil and some weird ass thing... Chows!

BITCH BLOGGER!!!

Nightingale 5:52:00 AM

Blogger is finally working.. I'm happy and very nervous at the same time. Happy being I can resume updating my blog and nervous because of tomorrow.

I have an appointment in the morning with the doctor about my tonsillitis. Never did I imagine taking them out. I do not know how much it's gonna cost and everything... Hopefully not too much. hmmmm.

Listening to some jazz... trying to clam down, I'm full of anxiety; can't sleep.

wish me luck!

I turn your picture to the wall,

I don't want to see you anymore.

It's now all a memory,

now it can never be,

I'll never see you anymore..

Only thing now to do is close your eyes,

and dream.

everythings not lost... 3:26:00 AM

Everyone is tuck tightly in bed, as I watch the hour of the morning goes by. It is 3:15 am as I’m writing this. A shadow of sadness is around us, while our hearts fear for the worst and our tears try to wash the sorrows away.

Looking at the stars above us, praying for the storm to be over. The pain becomes numb and the heart changes. Feelings are thrown around, words hurts much more than actions. It’s no fantasy if you think about it.


Love; a feeling above all.

once again. 7:41:00 AM

my freaking tonsillitis just came back again. It's going to kill me... I can't go through this agonizing pain again, I want to have it removed so badly. hmmm... fever's back and i'm going crazy! It's too damn MF pain!!!

Every time when ever I have such good plans for the week ahead i'll get this... I feel like a virus/bacterial magnet. Someone please make this stop.

time that doesn't tick. 1:09:00 PM

THREE hours till freedom. bored to death in this class. Can't wait for the weekend to start. Better yet, school to end. 

walk by me... 12:07:00 AM

A lot had happen since the twenty third of July. Well last saturday jimmy and I went to the twenty four hours LAN shop at gardens. My friends told me about that place, the sucky thing was we spend thirty minutes figuring our how to work the computer and it kept jamming up. arrgh. Jimmy and I had a ridiculously good game of Left 4 Dead. hahaha we need to bring more ppl. it's hell lot of fun!

It's been awhile since I started working on something new. I'm up for a challenge. For the past few days I think my body has gone mad, couldn't do thing properly. what a question of science.

Right now I'm looking forward to tomorrow. School and than RCIA with lilly. Than come friday! woo-hoo! man how the days past.  

Confused as i can be

I know you're real to me.

days like this 12:56:00 AM

Today was a good day. Firstly, this morning was raining so heavily man i love rainy days. hahaha than jimmy and i had a L4D time out! woo-hoo! hahaha i think i love anything got to do with zombies... than met lilly and we went shopping ard city hall....

well just wanted to blog about today. such a nice day.

good night

Monday, monday, monday.... Woots! 8:30:00 PM

Well I guess today I had the Monday’s blues. I didn’t go to school, I know I have that bad habit which I’m trying to kick. Well I decided to make full use of my time by settling stuffs at home. Didn’t have the time to sort things out since the party. Major recovery. Hahaha

Well I’m looking forward to a good week. Have some tentative plans here and there. Right now I’m just learning some culinary stuff online, recipes and techniques. I’m thinking of enrolling myself into a pastry school next year, once I’m done with electronics. I’m so sick and tired of computers. I love doing things down to earth, like food, or clothes, or arts.

Well I guess I’ll take a day at a time. Right now I’m at lil’s workplace. Waiting for her to finish up. Hahaha I’m so excited! Can’t wait to spend a night out with her tonight! :)

Friday's bus ride 12:18:00 PM

On the bus ride home from school… It’s going to be a 45-minute ride. It’s so strange how time pass so fast without us noticing it. I feel so weird out inside of me. How I wish I could go back in time and make things different. What I would give to be in school another day. Hmmm… in a month time or so, it’s going to be my 18^th birthday. I seriously cannot believe it. I can remember my 8th birthday like it was months ago. Swhoosh.

Lilly 4:35:00 AM

Well it’s over, I’m glad it’s over and sad at the same time. I would say the party was a blast! Had tons of work to do, but I think it was all worth it.

Happy 18^th Birthday lilly!

Right now there’s nothing much to do, just unpacked and get going with our normal life. Hmmm…

You turned my darkness into light;

You made everything all right.

You picked me up when I was down;

You turned my life around.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A blessing is what you are to me.

When I needed you the most, you were there;

Even if it seemed like you didn't care.

When I didn't think I could make it another day,

You chased all my doubts away.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A treasure is what you are to me.

The world is full of many people, it's true;

But there is only one of you.

You fill my heart with love;

You're a God-sent gift from above.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

An angel is what you are to me.

Lost and alone, I will no longer be;

Because you are here with me.

There is no reason to be sad;

You've taken away all the bad.

If I didn't have you, what would I be?

A girlfriend is what you are to me.

My buddy 4:30:00 AM

The moon is at it's zenith,

I'm staring into space.

I take a glance at the stars,

There I see his face.

A smile stretched ear to ear,

Lights up my dingy soul.

He dances a jig through my thoughts,

My God! He's on a roll!

His soul is strong and full of will,

I'm so proud of him.

I admire his perseverance,

His laughter's never dim.

I spend a lot of time with him,

Happy it makes me feel.

He's the one in which I confide,

This I know is real.

Our friendship we now have

is something that I'd miss

but maybe once we let go

we will find eternal bliss.

When you think I'm being too tough,

Remember that which does not kill you

Makes you stronger.

When you need a friend to listen,

Remember that I am here for you,

Always.

When you doubt me,

Remember that I once knelt at your feet,

Washing them in service to you.

When you lose faith in yourself,

Remember that I never did,

Nor ever will.

A feeling that cannot be expressed. 7:26:00 AM

I can live with the nonsense, but not without you.

Please don't go so quickly, like a blink of an eye.

You are so much so a part of my life,

take that away and I might have five.

Maybe I'm delusional. [love you always]

Tonsillitis is killing me. Suffering in agonising pain.

We will miss you MJ 6:05:00 PM

I’m really sad and still in shocked that my childhood idol just pass away. He was seriously a great artist that shaped the world. All he ever wanted was peace and harmony with every nation and religion. And people accused him over the years with faults that they could not find in him. I’m deeply sadden with his sudden death and is legacy will definitely remain forever. Rest In Peace MJ.

Strange things 6:00:00 PM

This was seriously a strange week. Firstly Jeremy had an accident in the kitchen with his finger. Than Lil also had a mishap with her toe. Well I hope both of you guys get well soon.

Last night was an awesome night. Lil and I had a small little dinner date before we went to watch a movie with jimmy. Well we watched TRANSFORMERS! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. 2 thumbs up! Thx Jimmy for the movie! Hahaha let’s see what’s the next show we’ll watch. Burno? hahhaha

June, June 1:21:00 PM

In a weird way, time is actually passing by rather fast. I've been up all night thinking about it. Today is going to be a busy day for me, we'll be doing R&D for our projects. Hopefully I can take as much notes down as possible. Tomorrow's father's day and I haven't had much plan yet.

The next thing that is on my mind is Lil's 18th Birthday. There's loads of planing and I seriously can't wait. If any of you are having doubts of coming well you'll be missing BIG if you're not there. We're planing to have a Summer BBQ, Grill Lamb, Beef, Salmon ect. Oooo... Caviar with Malibu by the pool anyone? hahaha

Yup so there's going to be a whole lot of good food, booze and music. Man oh man. Lil!

hahahaha...

Well till than...

I kissed a boy. 7:38:00 AM

Holidays are here and it seems there's nothing to do. Boredom usually strikes in the middle of the night around 3 in the morning... Everyone seemed to be busy with something, well I'm just taking my time off and slacking the whole darn holidays.

I taught of getting a job a few times but I guess, I kinda want to have a little me time. I've been doing some studying online these few days about culinary and stuff.. I'm thinking of taking a part-time course next year... see how it goes than.

Life seems so unpredictable now, I hate it when that happens. Really confuse with alot of stuff; it seems like my head has been battling with my heart. Well not anymore, it's a fucking strange thing.

GOSH!! FUCKED!! Back to freaking square one! Have you ever felt like you're in two worlds?

Caught in between two personalities? Well yea.

The joy that is in my heart seem so cheerful. Glad to hear from you but why is this happening now? After a year since we last talk now this feeling's back?

We don't even talk anymore. You said you'd be here before but you never did.

It was the biggest mistake of our life. I had to leave something so precious before but now I wish it never happen at all.

The times that we had was good while it lasted. I miss you so, but it would be so weird now.

Wishful thinking always gets the side of me.

I'm so sorry,

Samuel Tristan Navarro

Mindless crap 8:21:00 AM

Every morning there is this black miner bird that will fly and crash into my window. At first it gave me a fright, I taught what was that. Since than every single day for the past few weeks it keeps coming. After it crashes it will just sit on the ledge of the window before flying off. Hahaha, the funny thing is, it's the only thing that's able to wake me up everyday.. haha.

Well for the past few days everything was alright, the usual shit that life throws at me. Firstly I spent $60 BUCKS on cab the other day. I started out in the central than down to the West, than back to the East. GOSH I feel like i've been rob. I could have bought the biggest bottle of Nielsen Massey Vanilla Extract with that money! Gosh

Well I stayed over at Cornell's place the other day. We did some photoshopping. Was really fun. I have nothing much to say... Later I'm going to meet Jimmy and most likely we're going town to get some shit.

Till than!

Slow days... 7:27:00 PM

Well, yesterday Lilly and I met up Cornell to pass her some stuff and chill out. We went all over town and we went to Holland Village also, got some chocolates there. We decided to make some cupcakes and we manage to thanks to lilian! =)

I'm super tired now, although I just got up from a long sleep. Hmmm... I'm going over to Cornell place today to chill out and do some shitz... well till tmr! :)

Untitled 8:28:00 AM

I had a nice time at Johor yesterday. Went to look at stuff at the shopping malls, sight seeing around the areas and just spending a day with a friend. Well it doesn't matter now...

Sadly I taught that beautiful day would end nicely, but I taught wrong.

Everything was going happily, until our differences came about.

Do what you have to, think what your have to think, to reach your "goal".

At the end of the day, I hope you're happy.......

Hmmm.. 4:24:00 AM

My holidays are finally here! I'm quite excited, I did well in my exams, I taught I was going to fail... Hopefully I can get a 4 this time round. The next thing is, this monday or tuesday we're be going to JB! Jeremy, lilly and I. Can't wait. Well jimmy is starting his internship soon so we don't have much time to hang out anymore. Lilly's going to start school soon and be busy with her studies. Looks like I'm stuck here with ol' brian and myself.

Maybe I should start finding a job. Something that I can do to earn myself some extra income.

Yea Jude you should do that...

Gosh six more months till xmas! hahaha call me crazy, I know it's kinda early but I just had a sudden rush. Another thing is hopefully I can freaking get my drivers license before xmas. hmmm....

I'm over at jimmy place now, super bored so pardon be on talking shit here. hahaha well it's my blog! shoosh!

bye I'll watch cartoon or something.

The strangest part. 4:06:00 AM

There is alot to be said and to be done, but i'd rather just time this time out and relax. Today is the firth day of the sixth month, I still can't accpect that half a year has just gone by.. In six month's time I'd be graduating and moving on with my life. I haven't quite picture a plan on where I'd go after college but I have somewhat a rough idea what I wanna do.

Two years ago I had a plan, but it didn't turn out how I expected it to be.

What I want to do is entirely different from what I'm studying. I'm good at what I'm studying but I don't have any interest in it whatsoever. I wouldn't want to ready a book that has more numbers than alphabets; I guess you wouldn't too. I want to do something more down to earth something that everyone would understand.

For the past few weeks I've been putting my mind onto the taught of what I want to do with my life. Where I'd like to go or be in five years time. Well, it's extremely hard for me to put a finger on that right now. Idea and taught has been going through my mind and I realise that it's only me out there in the real world. I think of starting up my own line of pastries but I haven't really taught of a 100% fool proof plan yet. There's still alot of detour and bumps. Money is one of the biggest issues; as usual.

But if all works well I hope I can be that tiny grain of salt of the earth.

A lot has come 2:50:00 AM

Good by May, hello June! I can't believe it's June already, half the year just went by with a blink of an eye. Everything is changing so dramatically and I'm sure it's going to keep changing till the end of the year... I haven't been writting much, been busy lately. lots has happen since last week. Let me see..

• went for Jeremy's event
• went to watch terminator
• baked.
• and all the other shits that I can't remember right now.

Tomorrow I'm having my last and final exam. Hopefully I do well. I can't wait for the holidays! There's lots to do and plan. Projects are going to keep me busy. I hope I can finish as many of them successfully. Although sometimes I get head over heels.

Well let's see what this summer has to offer! Have a great June everyone!!

Sugar 4:34:00 PM

Oh gosh... Finally I'm resting on my bed. It's been nearly a week since I last baked, and I told myself, No! this could not be happening!! Well I went to the supermarket today after we made a useless trip down to downtown east. Lilian and I were suppose to booked a chalet for her birthday, but ended up, going back empty handed.

Well, anyways Got myself some flour and other baking needs and I decided to make some macaroons today.

Well the macaroons did not turn out to how the macaroons I intended it to be. It came out some sort of shortbread-cookie thingy. Well there's always another try.

I made classic sugar cookies instead! :) Awesomelisicous

Prayer 11:46:00 PM

I thank you for my friends, for those who understand me better than I understand myself, for those who know me at my worst and still love me, for those who have forgiven me when I had no right to expect to be forgiven.
Help me to be as true to my friends as I would wish them to be to me.
Help me to take the first step to get into touch again with friends from whom I have drifted apart.
and help me to have no bitterness but only forgiveness to any of my friends who failed or who turned against me; this I ask for your love;'s sake. Amen.


Source: Jeremy's prayer book.

Strange Saturday.. 9:22:00 PM

Another lazy Saturday.. Something seems different than usual, I just can't put a finger onto what it is. I had a good dinner. Had a bad dream last night, I dreamt about my worst fear. Couldn't believe when I woke up. Told myself thank god it was a dream. But maybe, just maybe it might happen in reality. The signs are there.

Music seems to be the only thing that understands. Feelings inside me are all jumbled up, I don't know what I'm feeling. It's mixed with pain, joy, jealousy, love and fearfulness.

I wish this feeling inside me would just disappear. Life is just full of shitz...

How far is far?? 1:09:00 AM

I am speechless, I don't know what to say. I am so tired right now, but I had a fantastic Friday night. It sounds a little crazy but maybe we'll try it someday again. Lil and I cycled all the way to east coast to chill out at the beach there.. So sad Jeremy couldn't make it, as he had something on this evening. Well we'll go someday again kk!! Anyways we took around 1 1/2 hrs to reach there. It was a 15.6km cycle to the park; wasn't too bad...

Loads of traffic, stupid ppl bumping into each other and women driver! hahaha. was really fun.

I'm going to sleep now.

(too tired to upload the pictures...)

Caramel thursday 2:21:00 AM

I'm finally on my bed resting. Today lil came over and we started making some muffins and sugar cookies. It was good I'd say. Everything went well except for the icing and not forgetting my eyebrows and toes. Freaking boiling hot caramel splash onto my brows and toe. damn pain balls... Now it's swelling really bad and I hope it gets better.

Well, today was good.

I wish, I really wish we could turn back time together..